How To Speak Your Child’s Love Language-Words Of Affirmation

by Feb 1, 2019Focused Friday, Mom Life, Parenting0 comments

This post contains affiliate links. For more information, see my disclosures here.

Have you ever heard of “words of affirmation” as a way to show love? I know it can be hard to figure out what your child’s love language is so today I am going to help you have a better understanding. In today’s post you will be learning what exactly “words of affirmation” actually means, how to recognize if your child has this as their love language and what you can do to fill your child’s love tank.


The term “words of affirmation” originated from Gary Chapman who wrote the book “The Five Love Languages”. If you haven’t read this book, it’s a must read for all families. This book was one of the first books I read as a newlywed and it was so inspiring. It helped guide me into a healthy marriage that is built around love.

The 5 Love Languages For Children


Something that most people don’t know about the 5 Love Languages is that it’s not all about husbands and wives. The 5 Love Languages are also for your children, as well.

Related: 33 Ideas For Quality One-On-One Time With Your Child

You need to show your children love in some way, right? Well, use this book as your guide to make sure you are expressing love to them the way they want to be loved.


As a quick reference, if you don’t have the book, another nice way to to figure out what your child’s love language is you can try the answering the questions in the profile assessment from Gary Chapman.


Love Language Profile Assessments for Children

Profile Assessment for ages 5-8

Profile Assessment for ages 9-12

Profile Assessment for Teen years


If you child falls in the “Words of Affirmation” category, then you’re going to want to keep reading.

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    What Is “Words of Affirmation” Love Language

    For the person who’s love language is “words of affirmation”, this person delights in a compliment. Anything encouraging, uplifting, words of praise and anything spoken in kindness is sure to fill this person’s love tank.

    Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages page explains it this way:

    This Language Uses Words To Affirm Other People.

    “Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important – hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. Kind, encouraging, and positive words are truly life-giving.”

    In the book he categorizes words of affirmation into the following:

    1. Encouraging Words

    2. Kind Words

    3. Humble Words

    4. Complimentary Words

    Gary Chapman gives advice to those who are not a “words of affirmation” person but your spouse or child is.

    If it’s hard for you to think of things to say, he suggests keeping a small journal or note pad around so if you happen to hear others speak words of affirmation (like on the radio, tv, church, community) then to jot it down as a reference guide.


    Related: How To Speak My Child’s Love Language “Quality Time”.

    Also, you might come across words of affirmation when you are reading something, like a devotional. Keep a list of ideas around for you to use on your loved one.

    10 Ways To Show Love To Your “Words of Affirmation” Child


    First and foremost, you want to speak love. You want to choose your words with intention to show love in everything you say. Speak positively as often as you can around this person.


    Here are 10 GREAT examples to get you started:


    1. Express how proud you are of your child for completing a task (ex: finishing a lego set)


    2. Write a love letter or a love note to your child


    3. Tell your child how much you love him


    4. Say thank you to your child for his hard work


    5. Compliment your child for the outfit he picked out


    6. Speak gratitude over your child for being kind to his sister


    7. Tell your friend a compliment about your child when your child is nearby listening


    8. Give immediate positive feedback to your child even after he has made a mistake, then correct/teach the child and follow up with positive feedback to finish.


    9. Express appreciation for your child and what a great son/daughter he/she is.


    10. And always show appreciation and excitement when your child gives you words of affirmation for what a great parent you are (that’s how your child is expressing his love towards you).


    Follow Through With Your Child’s Love Language


    Compliment your child every day for a whole month and see how it effects your relationship with that child. You are sure to put a smile on his face, and he will feel more loved every time you do it.

    If you don’t have the book The 5 Love Languages for Children already, I highly recommend buying it. It’s a quick read and it will surely change the way you connect with your children.


    Do you have a child with the love language “Words of Affirmation”? What do you say often to your child that really puts that huge smile on his face? Have you found that understanding your child’s love language has improved your relationship with your child? I would love to hear from you so please comment below!


    If you want to learn more about The 5 Love Languages, including Physical TouchReceiving Gifts, Acts of Service and Quality Time you would enjoy reading my tips and ideas in the other posts mentioned below.

    Keep Smiling,

    Dr. Jena Bradley, DPT

    This post contains affiliate links. For more information, see my disclosures here.

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    Hi there, friend! I’m Jena, a mom of 4 and a Physical Therapist with a passion to motivate moms! I want to inspire you to be your best self by sharing my experiences and trusted advice on motherhood, health and fitness.

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