How To Speak Your Child’s Love Language-Acts Of Service

by Feb 15, 2019Focused Friday, Mom Life, Parenting0 comments

This post contains affiliate links. For more information, see my disclosures here.



Is your child’s love language “Acts of Service” and you want to learn more about how to show your child love? It turns out that children, not just husbands and wives, have love languages, too. They want their parents to show them love in a specific way.  By doing more acts of service, this particular child of yours will feel more loved. In today’s post you will be learning exactly what “Acts of Service” actually means as a love language, how to recognize if your child has this as their love language and what you can do to fill your child’s love tank.


Some people might think that it’s absolutely crazy for someone to express love by doing chores or household tasks. But, it’s true. If you have “Acts of Service” as your love language, that’s exactly how that person feels.

Related: How To Speak Your Child’s Love Language-“Words Of Affirmation”


It’s the feeling of love and appreciation when someone does something for them. They think:

“That person must really love me if she took the time to do this for me.”


“Going out of their way to do this for me really meant a lot and I know that person really must love me”.

This is just a glimpse of what one of the five love languages is all about. Did you know there are FIVE love languages?


The 5 Love Languages


Gary Chapman is the author of the book “The 5 Love Languages”. It’s a must read for all families. Here is a brief description of each one and how you can express that love language to your loved one.


1. Words of Affirmation – Speaking positive words over that person


2. Acts of Service – Doing something for the other person, such as a helpful task or chore


3. Receiving Gifts– Giving presents or a physical token of affection


4. Physical Touch – Providing hugs, kisses, physical embrace


5. Quality Time– Giving someone your undivided attention


Related: 33 Ideas For Quality One-On-One Time With Your Child


If you are not quite sure what your child’s love language is, you can take the appropriate profile quiz here:

Profile Assessment for ages 5-8

Profile Assessment for ages 9-12

Profile Assessment for Teen years

Understanding “Acts Of Service” as a Love Language


It’s the feeling of commitment, sacrifice, time and thoughtfulness that goes into the particular act of service that makes someone feel loved.


This goes for your spouse but also your children, which is our focus for today.


Your children who have the love language of “Acts of Service” feel like their parents love them more if you took the time to do something for them. They feel loved when your focus was on them and helping them with a positive attitude.  Your child thinks “my mom must have cared enough to physically devote her time and effort towards helping me…therefore she must really love me”.


It can be simply explained by the act of serving your child to show him love.


Serving has many realms to it and there’s much more involved than the simple act of helping someone.


Your child appreciates your…

1. Thoughtfulness

2. Planning

3. Time commitment

4. Effort

5. Energy

6. Positivity

….that goes into serving.


This is the best way to express love to your child who is an “Acts of Service” love language.


Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages page explains it this way:

“For These People, Actions Speak Louder Than Words.”

“Can putting away your child’s clean laundry be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter. Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of these acts.”

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    10 Ways To Show Love To Your “Acts Of Service” Child


    Now that you have a clearer understanding of what “acts of service” is as a love language, I want to encourage you to think of some ways that your child will really feel loved by the act of serving him.


    Here are some examples to help you get started:


    1. Help clean up your kid’s blocks, legos, toys or even the entire room together.


    2. Be available to help your child in a task to make the workload easier for him


    3. Making each other’s beds in the morning


    4. Doing laundry and dishes together


    5. Make a meal together, pack lunches together


    6. Fixing something that belongs to your child after it was broken


    7. Build something together, work on a project together that your child has been asking to do.


    8. Assist your child with a school project that he is working on.


    9. Teach your child a new chore and work side by side together.


    10. Work alongside your child by taking your child to work with you (this helps your child see how your work is serving others)


    11. Simply ask “Is there anything I can do to help you right now?”


    12. Always show appreciation and excitement when they do acts of service for you. (that’s how your child is expressing his love towards you).


    Related: How To Speak Your Child’s Love Language-“Receiving Gifts” 


    Now that you have some guidance on how to express love to your “acts of service” child, which one do you think your child will feel the most loved by?


    Does he like to be surprised seeing his bedroom clean after arriving home from school or does he like to work beside you to tackle a project together? I would love to hear from you. Comment below with your ideas on how to show love to your “acts of service” child.


    If you want to learn more about The 5 Love Languages, including Physical TouchReceiving GiftsQuality Time and Words of Affirmation, you would enjoy reading my tips and ideas in the other posts mentioned below.



    Keep Smiling,

    Dr. Jena Bradley, DPT

    This post contains affiliate links. For more information, see my disclosures here.

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    Hi there, friend! I’m Jena, a mom of 4 and a Physical Therapist with a passion to motivate moms! I want to inspire you to be your best self by sharing my experiences and trusted advice on motherhood, health and fitness.

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